This is part two of a Tale of Two Greek Myths. We are discussing the ultimate source of freedom from addiction and loneliness. Previously I shared about Odysseus and how his crew escaped and survived the sirens to get home. Why is success more than just saying no, and physical survival?
I remember breaking down crying as we sat in our car in Phoenix, Arizona. I told my wife, “I can’t do it!” I had tried so hard for so long to follow the rules and boundaries we had set up regarding my eyes and my thoughts when it came to other women. The eyes are the gateways to the heart. But before it reaches the innermost part of your being, thoughts are formed. Then we choose what to do with that thought. There is no such thing as a thoughtless action, no matter how impulsive or quick the action. A thought always comes first. My eyes and my thoughts kept going to the wrong place. I'm not going to get into the discussion about when a look and a thought become wrong (that's a discussion for another article), but I knew my looks and my thoughts were wrong. I kept losing this battle by saying "no", no matter how hard I tried to follow the rules I believed were right.
The “cutting it off approach” wasn’t working! And the rules weren’t working! In fact, it seemed like it made it worse! Listen to this surprising quote from the Bible about the purpose of God’s law and rules…
"The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,.." [Rom 5:20 NIV]
Trying to follow the law and rules didn’t help me to be better, it actually exposed how depraved and messed up I really was. I wasn't the good person I thought I was. This was too much to handle alone. Later I realized this applies to all addictions. It seems overwhelming and impossible
On that note, here's our mystery movie quote: "I don't believe it!" "That is why you failed." (you can try to guess or cheat and scroll to the bottom of the page for any references).
The mascot of Why Live Today, Mole, reminds me that I needed someone to say, “I can’t help, but notice that you seem to be a bit at war with yourself.” And I was losing.
I was finally getting to a point where I was willing to acknowledge the real war with evil and the reality that I wasn't inherently a good person. On my own, the darkness was more powerful than me! I had no clue that I was closing in on the answer as I grew are of this and owned this reality. I also realized that losing on my own was a necessary prerequisite to winning with God.
I remember sharing the following truth from the Bible with a friend and he was shocked. For him, it seemed like God was reading his mind, and exactly describing his experience with addiction and going it alone.
Listen to Paul, the person many consider to be the “model Christian,” who is responsible for writing 13 of the books in the Bible:
"I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway." [Rom 7:19 NLT]
I appreciate the realness of Paul. Man, I can relate to that! Can you? Sounds like he is seriously frustrated and defeated. I’m grateful that God doesn’t leave us there IF we choose Jesus. But I thought I chose Jesus?
Think about addiction and loneliness in light of the following Greek myth, which is quite similar to the previous one.
(The Argo, painted by Konstantinos Volanakis (1837–1907), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons)
Jason and the Argonaut are on a quest to find the golden fleece. Like Odysseus, they have to sail through siren-infested waters. But Jason receives a different game plan from Chiron, the wisest of Centaurs. Chiron tells him to bring the musician Orpheus with him on the ship. Apollos, the god of music, gave him a golden harp. Jason and his crew sail through the waters, the siren call is heard, but Orpheus begins to play divine, transcendent music on his golden harp. The crew is captivated by the other-worldly music of Orpheus, the better music. They all survive and sail through the waters.
What we really want and need is the best music, it’s the only source of real freedom. Perhaps it’s a bit like hearing Mozart in a horrible prison with almost no hope (e.g. Shawshank Redemption).
That best music is the "Big Why" of life, the meaning of life. Some don't think that such music exists, so they settle, check out or quit. I do think it exists, but I thought it was about calling myself a Christian and adopting a system of belief and knowledge. Honestly, that wasn't enough, and other things were becoming the focal point of my life, even when I didn't want that.
Consider the biblical story about the rich, rule-keeping, godly ruler, who seems to have his "Big Why" figured out. But, if he has everything, why does he seek out Jesus? He still feels like something is missing and wants something more. Listen to what he says to Jesus:
"I've obeyed all these commandments," the young man replied. "What else must I do?" [Matt 19:20 NLT]
Similarly, I would justify and rationalize the idea that I was a good person, and other people would too. But I still knew there was something seriously wrong, even though I didn’t acknowledge the addiction or loneliness. Like the rich young ruler, I was religious, in my case a Christian. But I didn’t really need or want God more than I wanted other things. I thought I had tried God and it wasn't enough, but I missed the sequoia redwood forest because I was focused on the weeds.
Listen to what Dietrich Bonhoeffer said,
“The pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of one’s life toward a larger goal.”
The greater affection casts out the lesser affection. For example, think about our desire for food. It's not always when we are hungry is it? My son Daniel had a fixation on food and always seemed to be snacking. He would talk about being hungry all the time. But one day, I can home after lunch and asked him what he had eaten for the day. He said, “Nothing.” I was shocked! He hadn’t even thought about food, because he was wrapped up in playing his favorite video game, Minecraft. This was the greater desire for him.
In my case, I said that God was my greatest desire, but I had deceived myself. This boils down to some soul-searching questions that we need to consider. Don’t try and answer them all at once, but focus on one or two of them that seem most applicable to where you are in your journey.
- What is the Big Why of my life?
- Am I really living for that Big Why?
- Is my Big Why helping with addiction and loneliness?
- What should the Big Why of my life be?
- How do I live for the Big Why?
Like any journey, we have to figure out where we really are (our starting point), before we can head in the right direction and reach our destination.
I would love to hear from you. You can place your comments below.
References, Resources and Links
The law was brought in so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,...[Rom 5:20 NIV]
Mystery Movie Quote - Empire Strikes Back - “I can’t, it’s too big.” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3-CpzZJl8w&t=70s - 1:27-1:30
Mystery Movie Quote -Movie Clip - “I can’t help, but notice that you seem to be a bit at war with yourself.” Flynn Rider, Tangled - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr2JXJkNiTs
Quote: “For the good that I will [to do], I do not do; but the evil I will not [to do], that I practice. (Rom 7:19 NKJV)” - Romans 7:19 NKJV
Insert photo - (The Argo, painted by Konstantinos Volanakis (1837–1907), [Public Domain] via Creative Commons)
Movie Clip - Mozart playing over prison loudspeaker - Shawshank Redemption - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bjqmg_7J53s - 2:04-2:46
Full Story of Jesus and the Rich Young Ruler can be found here: Matthew 19:16-30 (NLT) The same story can be found from a different perspective in Mark and Luke.
Quote: “The pursuit of purity is not about the suppression of lust, but about the reorientation of one’s life toward a larger goal.” - Dietrich Boenhoeffer