I have dealt with intense stress, anxiety, and panic attacks throughout my life. I’ve asked why regarding this challenge and tried all sorts of things to get rid of it. I believe that it’s some combination of the physiological, psychological, emotional, and spiritual. In other words, I’ve had a history of thyroid problems, a belief that my worth is based on performance, a coping mechanism of hiding, an introverted personality, a history of repressed emotions, and a lack of real trust in myself, people or God with certain areas of my life. I know, that really narrows it down, right? If we hope to narrow down and ask why about these kinds of things, then we need to change our view regarding stress. I’ve looked at stress as mostly negative. However, a Ted Talk on stress unveiled one positive reason that I was unaware of, and reminded me of another that outweighs all of the negative. The bathwater I’ve been trying to toss out has two babies in it! Stress and anxiety are not something to toss out, or even endure, but to embrace like a friend! First, I need to see stress as an opportunity for courage. Second, it's my body's helpful way of preparing me for an event or experience. This is a very hopeful and helpful shift in perspective.
This realization of “positive stress” can move me toward and into a deeper relationship with myself, others, and God. Why? Because I must face the reality of my weakness, and make a choice to respond with humility. This can lead to healthier relationships. Here are a few examples. We can be kinder to ourselves as we acknowledge and embrace the stress. instead of the often unnecessary response for life-threatening situations (fight, flight, or avoid). There's an opportunity to be less judgmental as we identify with the flaws and frailties of others. We can experience better friendships as we share and help each other with stress. There is a greater desire and need for connection as we come to believe that stress is better dealt with through the support of God and other trusted friends.
What if there's still a disproportionate degree or occurrence of stress in my life? This is the part that is a different kind of friend. This kind of stress and the accompanying feelings are warning lights on the dashboard of our life pointing to something deeper. We need to ask ourselves, trusted friends, and God why that's the case.
Let me know what you think. Is this meaningful to you? Can you think of another example that seems to address meaning in a similar way? Let me know in the comments below.
Here's the meaningful experience that got me asking why about stress:
